When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
