I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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