Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
