New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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