david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
