and i looked up. we had an audience...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
