please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
