I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
