Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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