Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
