If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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