omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
