Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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