I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
