i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
