Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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