you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
