Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
