that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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