I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
