New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
