a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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