Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
