I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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