Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
