Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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