Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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