it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
