mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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