Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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