if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
