it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So vagazzling was a success
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
