Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
