you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
