I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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