Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
