no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
