everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
