i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
