Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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