he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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