do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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