she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
