have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
