Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
