this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
