i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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