Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
