And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Randomize
