My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
