Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
