when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I had to cum in my sink.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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