how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
