is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
