remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
