Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
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