He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
